ONE GENOCIDE DOES NOT JUSTIFY ANOTHER

 I am surely one of the last people anyone should accuse of being ‘antisemitic’.

I’m from the post-war generation, raised in burning awareness of the Holocaust. My first conscious act of anti-racism, when I was still in primary school, was to deliberately stop using anti-Jewish slurs. As an adult, I learned more about the Holocaust, to the point where I eventually had to stop reading, as it was making so angry and upset that I wished I could travel back in time and unalive a few Nazis.

Along the way, I absorbed, without even being aware of it, a lot of pro-Israeli attitudes. I never questioned that Jews ‘deserved’ their own homeland. And despite my experiences in the anti-racism movement, I never questioned the stereotypes about ‘violent’, ‘hostile’ Arabs/Palestinians, that they’d ‘voluntarily’ left because they ‘hated’ Jews, etc, etc.

And then 9/11 happened, and anti-Muslim attitudes increased. An unending stream of movies, TV programs, and even books that depict the stereotypical Muslim as the ‘Bad Guy’. I mean, can anyone think of a movie etc created in the last 20 years that features Muslims that doesn’t do this? And I got sucked into that mindset too, I must now shamefacedly admit.

But then something started to shift. Perhaps it was when I began to notice the uneven death toll of missile exchanges between Israel and Palestinians. It was always like ‘5 Israeli dead, 120 Palestinians’. If they were so weak an enemy, I thought, why the overkill? Or maybe it was after the Christchurch massacres of Muslims in 2019, when I witnessed the grief but also the kindness of the survivors. Or perhaps it was simply common sense re-asserting itself. Surely not all Muslims could be bad people?

Still, I dithered, undecided. When I first heard the words ‘from the mountains to the sea’, it sent a chill through me. I thought those saying this were advocating a new genocide. Now I understand they are trying to prevent one.

Because now it’s become all too obvious, glaring back at us from our screens, large and small, just what Israel intends for the Palestinians. The brazenness of genocide and obliteration has made so many of us suddenly awake to so much.

This is just a sample of what I have seen…

- Babies so emaciated that you know they are days if not hours away from death, because there is no baby formula and their mothers are too starved to breastfeed them. (And they do die, inevitably.)

- A boy of perhaps six or seven, crying that he wants to die so he can join his dead parents.

- Adults with skin taut over their thin bodies, some collapsing in the street.

- Amputees by the dozen, and others who are dying of totally preventable diseases.

- Western doctors coming out of Gaza, breaking down as they talk of the horrors they’ve seen.

- Palestinian journalists, and healthworkers, deliberately slaughtered for just doing their job.

- Gazan people trying their best to live despite all this, planting gardens, living in tents or crumbling ruins, searching for food and water and fuel, always knowing they might have to uproot and move yet again, or be bombed out. While those without even this simply sleep in the streets.

- The increasingly anguished pleas on social media videos, begging for anything, any help at all.

- The shattered remains of what were once bustling cities, everywhere reduced to rubble.

- And in the background of every video, the constant noise of drones and planes and bombing, on and on and on.

And more, and more…

 Also things I’ve seen…

- Israel’s leader denying there is starvation in Gaza, or claiming that aid organisations are to blame, even as Israel has denied those same organisations entry to Gaza.

- Israeli politicians saying that there ‘is no such thing’ as an ‘innocent Palestinian’, that they’re all ‘jihadists’, or ‘human animals’ - even babies or children, or saying they’re all ‘Hamas’.

- Those same leaders now talking about a ‘Greater Israel’, which will swallow up not just Palestine but all or most of neighbouring countries like Syria, Jordan, Iraq and Egypt, with their current inhabitants presumably to be pushed out or killed like the Palestinians.

- Israeli settlers saying that the Palestinians should ‘all die, or just leave’, or standing on the borders planning where they’ll build their settlements when the ‘vermin’ is cleared.

- Israeli soldiers laughing ON CAMERA about shooting Gazans or destroying their homes.

- Israelis openly admitting that they are ‘taking lessons from the Nazis’ on how to eliminate unwanted people.

And more. And more. And more….

My eyes are fully open now, and there is no going back. I understand now how Israel, backed by Western nations, took over Palestine and violently pushed out the native Palestinians, a trauma they call the ‘Nakba’, and which in a very real sense is still ongoing. How, as well as what’s happening in Gaza, West Bank Palestinians are being steadily and violently being forced out of their homes by Israeli settlers. How Israel has brainwashed its own citizens for generations, through its schools and media and apartheid-style isolation, until they no longer see Palestinians as human. And how NO-ONE has heard much of ANY of this in the West, because the Israelis have created a huge propaganda machine which heavily influences Western foreign policy and media in their favour, that ensures a steady stream of money and weapons comes their way, and that Palestinian concerns are ignored. They have even managed to coerce, browbeat or silence other Arab nations.

But now? Now, Israel has gone too far, and the truth is finally coming out. Their influence and power is waning, the balance is finally tipping. 

As I’ve said above, I have long empathised with Jews. But Israel? Israel is like the horribly abused child who then grows up to horribly abuse others, taking everything from them and destroying their lives – all the while convincing others that they are the ‘real victim’.

So to Israel, I say this – I see you now. The mask is gone. You are not so much a nation as an apartheid settler-state, the last gasp of European colonialism, an active oppressor and killer, propped up by Western money and arms. When those are gone, you will go too. And through your arrogance, you have guaranteed that will happen, sooner rather than later. It could have been so different. You could have lived alongside Palestinians peacefully, as Palestinian Jews did for centuries, but your Zionist beliefs wouldn’t allow it, and now you are doomed.

And to the Palestinians, I say this – I see you now. The mask is gone. You are simply human, not the devils they have tried to convince us of. You have a vibrant culture of your own, the capacity for love and laughter, joy and song, even now, as hard as they have tried to bomb it out of you. I see you. And my very soul is pierced by what is happening to you. I wish I could do more, but I’m too old, too poor and too disabled. I can’t even do protest marches anymore, let alone sail on flotillas and the like.

In fact this is the problem – not that no-one cares, but that pretty much all of us who do (and there are A LOT of us) are powerless to stop what’s happening. I myself have shared as many videos and posts as I can, have made what small donations I can, talked to people to raise awareness when I can, and now I write this post. Meanwhile, our leaders who could act are still held in Israel’s thrall, brainwashed to the point of indecision. That is slowly shifting, but not fast enough. A flotilla is on its way even as I write, but I don’t know if that will be enough either. I simply can’t even begin to guess your fate, and that alone causes me agony.

To the rest of the world, I say this – the truth is evident for anyone willing to see it. Please don’t turn your back. Do SOMETHING, even if it’s just a donation, talking to people, joining a march, signing a petition, writing to your politicians, whatever you can do. If you can do more, please, please, help them. They need us. And we need them, they are the keepers of our conscience. If we fail them, I believe it will haunt us forever.

In the name of simple decency, please, please someone stop this. Stop this horror playing out right in front of our eyes, on our very screens. What good does it do, even, recognising Palestine as a state, if there are hardly any Palestinians left alive, or the ones that are still living are squashed into some ghastly Israeli concentration camp, while Israel finishes its demolition job?

And please, let nobody go on about ‘but the hostages’ or ‘but Hamas’. It was never about the hostages or Hamas. If Israel really cared about the hostages they wouldn’t be bombing and starving them. Hamas has been cast as the villain, but that’s simply a distraction, a cover for what’s really happening. The real villains wear smart suits and talk at the UN. They do shady deals behind closed doors and get angry when their machinations are exposed, their power threatened.

Finally, let me be clear on one thing here – Jews and Zionists are not one and the same. Zionism as a political theory long predates the Holocaust, but was given impetus by it. Israel is a Zionist state, and its leaders embody its worst features. There are still many Jews, even within Israel itself, who are horrified by what is happening, who cry out ‘not in my name!’ I respect them for this. But Zionists – they’re the 21st-Century Nazis. Their own ancestors would, I suspect, be ashamed of them. Hitler would be laughing. It isn’t ‘anti-Semitic’ to say so (does anyone even remember that Palestinians are a Semitic people too?), but it is anti-Zionist. And I think this is an important distinction to make.

To end, I recently saw this line on a protest banner – ‘one genocide does not justify another’. I’ll say that again, louder for the people in the back –

ONE. GENOCIDE. DOES. NOT. JUSTIFY. ANOTHER.

ENOUGH. LET’S END THIS NOW.

The Things I Do And Don't Care About

I’ve been thinking lately about the things I do, and do not, care about. I’ll start with the latter first, because they have especially been on my mind. 

I don’t care what others think of me. For much of my life, I was a classic people-pleaser, riddled with anxiety about what others thought of me, trying to live up to social expectations and ‘earn’ approval. Eventually I realised this was a battle I was doomed to lose. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t mask well enough, pretend well enough, be good enough to be truly acceptable. So I gave up. Not all at once, but gradually and definitely, and the older I get the more I simply don’t give a rodent’s posterior what people think of me. It’s very liberating.

I don’t care what people want if they don’t say it. I used to fret obsessively over this too, trying to figure out what people wanted. Now, if people don’t say what they’re thinking, I can’t be bothered trying to read their minds. Why should I? If they can’t be bothered being upfront and honest, I can’t be bothered engaging. Say it or stay silent, I don’t care.

I don’t care what people think about my appearance. This is another thing I spent a good deal of my earlier years fretting over, trying to ‘fit in’, whether it was with ‘normal femininity’ or ‘right-on lesbian feminist’ rules or ‘hippy left’ style or whatever. Nowadays? I’m a t-shirt and jeans person, rarely wear makeup, have short hair, and sometimes get mistaken for a man, at least until I turn around or speak. But I do love bright colours and jewellery (though I don’t wear it much for sensory reasons), have even worn a skirt on occasion (okay, for funerals, but still). If anyone doesn’t like the ‘look’ of me, however, my answer is simple – don’t look! I don’t care what others wear either. There are far more important things.

I don’t care what people think about how I live my life. People have long been trying to tell me how I should live my life, from my parenting (often from those with no kids or experience with them), to how, when and how much I should ‘socialise’ (regardless of me trying to tell them I can’t do it like that). But possibly the biggest criticism has been around how I manage my disabilities, especially my CFS. I’ve been criticised for taking vitamins - ‘they’re just expensive pee!’ - even though they have literally saved my life, told I should ‘just go for a run round the block!’ at a time when I couldn’t have crawled around it on my hands and knees, and had an actual naturopath I’d formerly visited tell someone else that it was ‘a pity’ I’d gotten a diagnosis of CFS, as I would ‘just use it as an excuse’ to not try to get better. I kid you not.

So what DO I really care about?

 I care about one Big Thing…

The state of the world.

Last month, our former Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, told the 2025 Yale graduating class that the world has turned into “an all-out dumpster fire”. She is so right. Now, the world never has been a wonderful place (newsflash : there never really were any ‘good old days’). That’s why my generation fought so hard to change things (yes, those boomers people love to criticise, even as they enjoy the benefits we gained them). But more recently, it’s become just… awful.

There is no other way to describe it. Fascism on the rise, so many of the advances we fought for now being either eroded or outright destroyed, and not just in America either, though that is definitely the worst conflagration (and it is literally turning into an actual conflagration in parts, eg ICE agents tear-gassing protesters, Marines brought in, actual goddam MARINES), entire groups living literally in fear of their lives, the rich hoarding more and more wealth while the rest of the world struggles ever harder, too many fools trusting other fools rather than proven and verifiable science, disbelief of the media even when they’re reporting live on actual horrific events (I don’t have any special love for the media, but come ON folks, use your brains), Certain Nations sitting back smirking behind their hands at the havoc they had a hand in creating, genocidal wars where children and other vulnerable are dying by the dozen every day for the benefit of the greedy and the power-hungry, incipient environmental collapse while our politicians quibble about who has to give up the least, yet other nations attempting to position themselves to be Dominant Powers when the dust settles… on and on it goes, and there doesn’t seem to be any end to the horribleness of it all.

Or my sense of helplessness and horror in the face of it all.

And people think I should worry about what I or others wear, or what others think of me, or what some dipstick who doesn’t even know anything about CFS - or any other condition I have – thinks about how I should be handling my health or my life? When there’s so much awful crap going down? Are you kidding me?

Get outa here.

All The Things We Are Supposed To Be And Not Be

Has anyone ever felt or noticed that there are so many things we are supposed to be? So many things, which, for most of my life, I have felt *I* am supposed to be, or to conceal if I’m not.

For instance, we’re supposed to be perfectly neurotypical, to not be autistic or ADHD or dyslexic or any other neurospicy flavour. Or if we are, we’re not supposed to be a ‘burden’ or let it ‘impinge’ on others, we’re expected to put up a perfect pretense of ‘normal’, no matter what it costs us. And if we can’t, then we should Just Go Away. Disappear.

We’re supposed to be completely able-bodied, no illnesses or disabilities, whether physical, neurological, learning/intellectual, metabolic, acquired or innate. Or, if we aren’t, it’s often seen as ‘our fault’, and again we’re supposed to pretend we’re not, even if it hurts and exhausts us, and to ‘not use it as an excuse’. And if we can’t, then we’re supposed to keep out of public view, so as not to ‘force’ the sight of us on ‘normal’ people. Oh, and you mustn’t have any mental health issues either, or keep them/yourself out of sight. Heaven forbid you have a breakdown in public.

We’re supposed to be completely cis and hetero, because gay, trans, non-binary etc are weird/abnormal/disgusting/It Would Just Be So Much Easier If We Weren’t. If we’re gay/lesbian, then we ‘shouldn’t push it into everyone’s faces’ (i.e. stay in the closet). If we’re trans, then we’re ‘mutilating’ ourselves, and should ‘just accept’ the body we were born into, even if it jars every last nerve we have. If we’re bi we’re ‘confused’, if we’re gender-fluid, same, or lying. Intersex people? Either ignored or denied. And if we’re asexual or aromantic, then OMG what’s WRONG with you??!!

And it doesn’t end there.

We’re supposed to be, if not well-off, then at least financial enough to not need any help from ‘the system’. Being poor is somehow offensive, and being dependent on welfare is especially a Crime Against Society. It’s considered a personal lack if we need anything of anyone else, in any way. (But if we’re female, paradoxically we must always be ready to assist others.)

We’re supposed to be able to eat anything, anywhere, anytime it’s offered or available. Allergies, food intolerances, sensory difficulties, even simply strong dislikes, are all ‘nuisances’ or ‘stupid’ or ‘made-up for attention’, or just plain ‘fussiness’. Similarly with clothes – sensory problems or dislike of certain fabrics or styles are ‘silly’, or even ‘dangerous’, especially if you’re non-binary or trans.

And of course we can take it as a given that non-white people, both native and/or descendants of slaves, have been routinely made to feel ‘other’, inferior, and unwanted. (Non-white) immigrants are told they ‘should go back where they came from’, no matter no matter what awaits them there. That the rest of the world (ie white people, even in countries whose population is largely descended from immigrants) shouldn’t have to tolerate them. That they should not exist.

Perhaps the most‘shoulds’ and ‘oughtas’ are reserved for those born into female bodies, regardless of what else we are. The list is long, and has been covered elsewhere, most notably the soliloquy from the Barbie movie. And these things are often contradictory, so that women can never win. We must be assertive, and honest, but never ‘threaten’ or ‘undermine’ men. We must be gentle, but not so much we become victims.

We must be perfectly groomed at all times, never too over- or under-weight, fit and healthy. Our cooking must be perfect, and as much home-cooked as possible. Our children of course must always be perfectly clean and tidy, and, naturally, well-behaved and without any ‘issues’.

Our homes must always be tidy and clean, preferably looking like a show home at all times, and a carbon copy of others as much as possible, even if that doesn’t work for us. Heaven forbid we have belongings scattered around, or if our daily routines just aren’t like other people’s, or that we arrange our homes to suit ourselves. It’s ‘selfish’ or ‘weird’ and grounds for some pretty severe criticism, especially online.

Yes, in many places things have improved. Somewhat. Laws have changed, there are pockets here and there of people very welcoming of difference, and others who at least pretend to be… well. Nice. Polite. Accepting. And yet… There are assumptions, misconceptions and microaggressions. Pauses, smiles that don’t reach their eyes, turned heads and cleared throats and outright snubs. What with that and images in the media, TV and movies, we can still end up feeling like we’re burdens, that we must conceal our true selves/bodies/sexuality/race/religion/whatever, in order to be acceptable to others, to not place a burden on them, to be seen as ‘okay’ or ‘normal’. And this is in comparatively ‘safe’ countries. (Because some countries are decidedly unsafe for many.)

Why? Why should we have to hide or erase our differences in order to be even grudgingly accepted? Why is there still this dislike of those who are ‘different’? How on earth do we tackle it, both collectively and individually? It damages us. It erodes our self-confidence, makes us hate ourselves and feel ashamed and inadequate, and causes us to self-erase. All in a desperate need to become part of a world that doesn’t truly accept us as we are – or to avoid its outright attacks.

But is it really so awful that so many of us are not ‘Default Man’? (ie white, middle-class, cishetero, able-bodied, neurotypical, etc, etc.) Are our needs really ‘too many’, ‘too costly’, ‘too much of a burden on society’, blah blah blah? Are all these demands - usually unspoken but not always – legitimate? I don’t think so. I think we have the right to simply be what we are, whatever that is. Default Man is a highly privileged minority anyway.

I must admit, I find it hard to eradicate these buried attitudes in myself. While I have consciously rejected them, there are still fragments of them deep down that sometimes erupt to the surface in unexpected ways. But becoming aware of how they affect me is a start. You can’t tackle what you don’t know is there, constantly undermining your attempts at self-actualisation.

I do feel strongly however that somehow the attitude that This or That is Normal and hence
Desirable/Better/Superior must be seriously challenged, at its very root.

Who I Stand With and Why

We’ve all been watching the news from the USA, many of us with mounting horror and dread. It’s just one horrible thing after another. The worst kind of people gaining power and control. The wholesale wrecking of government departments and sacking of even essential staff. The demolishing of legal rights and protections for and attacks on the most vulnerable, the erosion of human rights, the muzzling of the press… And on and on it goes. It’s scary stuff, especially for those into history. There’s an onslaught of enmity directed at anyone who doesn’t fit into the cis, straight, white, male, middle- or upper-class, born-in-the-USA conservative Christian mould - even conservative Christian women now, which is surprising no-one but those women themselves.

The most important question is not ‘what will THEY do next’, because we can all guess, even if only by looking at history. (Concentration camps, anyone?) The Big Question is, how much and for long will the American people put up with it, before they rise up in rebellion? When (not if, but when) that will happen, what form it will take, how successful it will be, what the end result will be, is anyone’s guess. The only sure thing is that it can’t go on like this.

The new ‘rulers’ are of course presuming on shock and awe to keep everyone under their thumb. But I think they underestimate people. Even Americans, who, let’s face it, have had their education system run down, their rights steadily eroded, their economy tanked - FOR DECADES - and who have been indoctrinated into believing that ‘Murrka is the Greatest Country on Earth’, are not going to take it forever. Or even for that much longer. And of course the targeted groups are probably going to play a pivotal role in leading the resistance, because they have to. Because it’s THEIR lives at stake.

To be sure, many of those in the most vulnerable categories are feeling terrified and helpless. Some are leaving or planning to leave the worst states or even the country. (And let’s be clear, you’re not a coward if you can and do flee. Some are more vulnerable than others, or lack the capacity to fight.) Others are trying to help them get to ‘sanctuary’ states, though how long they will be able to keep gays, trans people, immigrants, women who want abortions etc, safe, is yet another good question. People are right to be scared. But sooner or later, if you’re pushed to the wall, you have to push back, if only because you’re not able to either flee or hide. I think it’s already begun to happen. And let me note here that street demonstrations and court decisions are only the beginning, not the end, of the resistance. I mean, I’d be relieved if they were effective, but I’m not holding my breath. Because Trumpet and his cronies have nothing but contempt for courts, laws, government departments and even their own voters.

I want to make it plain that at least part of my support for these groups is because I identify with those in danger. I’m acutely aware that if I was a US citizen or resident right now, I’d be in danger too. I’m gay, non-binary, autistic and almost certainly ADHD as well, I have multiple physical disabilities and health conditions, including CFS, arthritis, thyroid issues, high cholesterol and diabetes. I am on (government paid-for) medication for the last three of those. I’ve also been poor all my adult life, am dependent on NZ superannuation (i.e. the old age pension), and live in social housing. I’d be a target, for sure, so I really, REALLY feel for all my counterparts in the States.

But it’s more than that. It’s a matter of simple human decency. How anyone thinks it’s okay to attack people who love their own gender, identify as a gender that doesn’t match the body they were born with, are of a different race or religion (or none), fled persecution or poverty in another country to find a better life for themselves and their family, etc, etc, is beyond me. I simply don’t understand this level of cruelty. If I had been alive in 1930s Germany, you can bet I would have been opposing the Nazis, and I’m opposing them now. You’re either on the side of human decency, compassion and justice, or you’re not. End of.

Because of this, I’m not going to waste time pleading for Those In Power to spare my American counterparts. Things have gone way beyond that. I’m not able to do a lot from this distance, but I will certainly do what I can, most especially not allowing myself to be silenced. I don’t know if Big Brother is reading this. Maybe, maybe not. Either way, Big Brother? Go fornicate with Yourself.

Some would say, ‘oh, it’s easy for you to say all this, you don’t live in the States, you’re safe’. But we’re all fooling ourselves if we think the Orange One’s influence stops at the shores of the US. He has already made territorial threats against Canada, Greenland and Panama. He’s blatantly sided with Russia, and publicly attacked Ukraine’s courageous leader to his face. He’s demanded insane things of other countries, or sent his VP to verbally attack them. And that’s all just in less than two months. Not to mention that NONE OF US ARE TOTALLY SAFE if he triggers World War Three. A second American Civil War would affect people way beyond America’s shores. Tariffs or the collapse of American share markets, businesses or banks can also affect the whole world. So no, I don’t think we are going to be totally safe wherever we are.

Not that I’m deluding myself that they’ll come after me personally, I’m not important enough. Nor am I planning (or able, or even wanting) to visit the US any time soon, and New Zealand is not considered an ‘enemy’ of the US, right? ...Right? And Trumpet has really respected America’s traditional allies …right? But he wouldn’t interfere with another country’s citizens… right? Right?

 Truthfully though, I’m more concerned right now about the encouragement he gives to the worst kinds of people everywhere. A member of the coalition government here has proposed a bill to get rid of all DEI laws and regulations. It has little chance of success… so far. Who can say what the future holds.

 But ultimately it doesn’t matter. On the deepest level, I simply do not care. So Big Brother, if you do wanna come after me, all I can say is - bring it. I know who my people are, and who I stand with. And it’s not those currently calling the shots across the other side of the Pacific.