The Empty Autism Theory

There’s an idea I’ve been tossing around in my head for some while, which I’ve been calling ‘The Empty Autism Theory’.

It’s about how many neurotypicals view autistics – ie, that they see us as somehow ‘empty’ of all the things that NTs have, whether that be intelligence, thoughts, feelings and emotions, empathy, social sensitivity, a sense of humour, communications worth listening to, the capacity to feel pain or to love our fellow human beings, or even just basic humanity.

So in their eyes, we’re devoid of anything worthwhile, or if we do have anything inside us, it’s a sort of echoing chaos of misery, from which NTs need to ‘rescue’ us. So their job, as they see it, is to ‘fill us up’, to ‘give’ us these things, after which we will be ‘fixed’, and ‘just like normal people’. It isn’t always explicitly framed or stated that way, but the underlying message is pretty clear.

I see it in many areas, in the attitudes of schools, government programs, in books and movies and TV programs about autism, and hence also in the public image of autism. It’s in all the assumptions made about us, eg that we don’t look people in the eyes because we ‘have no interest’ in other people, or that our meltdowns are somehow ‘just random’. It’s in how they don’t bother asking us what we want or need, even if we can talk, because they’ve already decided that we don’t have anything worth listening to, we’re simply to be filled up with whatever they’ve decided we lack.

It’s also evident in the professional language and research, where we’re described as ‘deficient’ in this, or ‘lacking’ in that. We don’t have ‘theory of mind’, or we display ‘weak central coherence’, and so on. The diagnostic criteria focuses almost exclusively on our lacks and deficiencies and abnormalities. It’s even in areas you wouldn’t expect, for instance the infamous ‘research’ project which deemed autistics as ‘lacking in social reputation management’, rather than simply as more honest than their NT counterparts. 

Moreover, this view of autism has been there from the start. Kanner first described us in terms of ‘disturbances of affective contact’, ie we ‘didn’t care’ about those around us. He was the first to suggest the ‘refrigerator mom’ theory of autism which others like Bruno Bettleheim later took up. Even Asperger described us in terms of our ‘deficiencies’ in social/communication skills. 

And then there was Lovaas’ infamous characterisation of us as ‘not fully human’, when he said that “you start pretty much from scratch… with an autistic child. You have a person in the physical sense… but they are not people in the psychological sense… You have the raw materials, but you have to build the person.” Thus ABA from the start was based on the ‘empty autism’ idea – push the autism out of the kid by filling them up with NT-type ‘skills’, and hey presto! No more autism!

It’s evident too in how, whenever autistics challenge ‘warrior’ parents of autistic kids about how they regard and treat their children, we get shut down and attacked – the whole ‘you’re-not-like-my-kid’ and ‘you’re-too-high-functioning-to-know-what-real-autism-is’ stuff is based on the idea that the ‘real’ autistics are somehow ‘different’ (read: empty/deficient) from those of us who can talk, or at least communicate online. Even at the same time as some of them are defending themselves by claiming we’re ‘lacking in theory of mind’, so ‘unable to understand’ where these ‘poor parents’ are coming from! At a very basic level, it’s a profound ‘othering’, a psychological theft of our humanity. 

It’s also evident in the presumption that we simply need to learn how to ‘behave like normal people’, and our problems will all be magically solved. So if we do a social skills course, and we still have problems, it must be because of some resistance or ‘deficiency’ on our part - because, after all, they’ve “done all they can for us”.

Now we know that we’re not empty. That in fact we’re full – full of sensory reactions and unruly emotions that demand our attention and sometimes interfere with our learning, wonder at the physical world around us (even if we’re not budding scientists or computer programmers), joy in our ‘special’ interests, a straightforward honesty, puzzlement at what seems like bizarre behaviours of other people, priorities that don’t include things like small talk, not to mention distress at the way we’re treated, whether or not we can vocalise it. And more. Much more. 

I don’t know what to call the opposite of this ‘empty autism’ theory though. I’m hesitant to label it ‘the fullness of autism’ theory – it’s not only that we’re ‘full’, it’s that we’re both complex and under stress. But I don’t want to call it ‘complex autism theory’ either – as this would undoubtedly be twisted and pathologized and used against us. So I’m not sure what to call it – once again, the language of NTs fails to adequately describe the autistic reality.

What I do know is that, once again, I’m forced into the realisation that nothing less than an entire reframing of the public understanding of autism and autistics is necessary. Only when it’s seen that we are not ‘empty’ of all the things that make people human, can real progress be made. Because as has recently been noted, the public image of autism is based on us in varying degrees of distress, and is thus distorted, the signs of our distress taken as symptoms of our autism, ie as givens with our ‘disorder’. And that stress can be traced back directly to the Empty Autism theory, and the resulting misunderstanding and pathologizing of autism and autistics.

And it’s time for all that to stop. Time for the empty autism theory to be laid to rest, and for our humanity to be seen and accepted, and for our part in the full range of human diversity to be embraced. Our very survival depends on it.

Before Choosing a Therapy For Your Autistic Child... Consider These Questions

Parents of autistic children are often besieged by people recommending therapies, with all sorts of dire predictions about how their child is ‘doomed’ to an unhappy life, or ‘will always be a burden’, without this or that usually hugely expensive and time-consuming therapy. Overwhelmed, confused and frightened, parents can end up making decisions based on vague, fear-based concepts like “well everyone says you have to do this”, or “the school/professionals/whoever are pressuring me to do it”.

I want to help parents cut through the confusion, and make decisions based on common sense, rationality and what their child actually needs.

So I’ve come up with the following questions parents of autistic kids need to ask themselves, before committing to a therapy programme.

1) What are you hoping to achieve with this therapy?

Many parents are scared into thinking that the only hope for their child is to ‘normalise’ them, ie make them over into copies of non-autistic children. I’ve made no secret that I am opposed to this normalisation, and for good reason. Autism is a neurological pattern, and therapies designed to ‘rid’ us of it actually only teach us to hide it – with great difficulty, and at high cost. There are now young adult autistics with PTSD, low self-esteem, depression and other mental health issues as a result of such un-therapeutic therapy.

It’s usually pretty easy to recognise such therapies – they use catchphrases such as “indistinguishable from their peers”, or “extinguishing all symptoms”. They may even talk of “curing” or “fighting” or “defeating” the autism. Please, for your child’s sake, think long and hard, and watch it in practise, before choosing any of these methods for your autistic child. Which brings me to my next question…

2) Would this therapy be abusive if done to a non-autistic child?

If yes, then it’s abusive to an autistic one too. Forty-plus hours of intensive ‘compliance training’ a week, bleach enemas, heavy regimes of dubious and unscientific ‘supplements’, forcible suppression of every natural movement, painful and distressing eye contact or social interaction insisted on - and this is only the tip of the iceberg – what other young children have to endure this?

Sometimes people get so caught up in fighting against the autism, they overlook that the child is still a young human being, with feelings and thoughts of their own, even if they can’t express them. Let your child BE a child, let them play and explore the world in their own way, even if it isn’t what you think is ‘normal’. Don’t let their life be all about being ‘treated’, or they will get the message that there is something ‘wrong’ with them.

3) Does my child actually need this therapy/treatment?

Stop listening to the scaremongers. Put your preconceptions and assumptions aside, and take a good long look at your child. Observe them for days, even weeks if necessary, without judging their behaviour, before deciding what they truly need. You may discard some ideas, and consider others.

Some parents are prompted to try gluten-free diets for example, because “they say it helps”, when really these should only be considered if your child has obvious health issues (eg constant diarrhoea, constipation, bulging stomach, ear infections, inflamed complexion, listlessness, etc). But if your child is physically healthy, special diets or supplements are not only expensive, but useless.

4) Is this therapy suited to my child’s needs?

This is an important point. Perhaps you’ve observed your child, and realised they are frustrated by their communication problems. So you think, “oh, they need speech therapy!” But oral speech may actually be too problematic for them. They might do better with something like sign language, PECS, or some form of AAC. NEVER assume that ‘normal is best’. We autistics are different, our cognitive styles are different, and any therapy needs to respect that.

5) What approach does the therapist take?

This is another important point. Even if you’ve decided that a particular therapy would be both good for and needed by your child, the therapist/practitioner may not have the same goals you do. For example, you’ve decided that speech therapy is the right thing for your child. But while you simply want them to be able to express their needs, you find the speech therapist is more concerned with “making them sound normal”. Be very careful about not only which therapy, but which therapist you choose!

6) Does the therapist allow you to be present?

Be very wary of anyone who won’t let you watch, even through a one-way window. What are they trying to hide? What do they tell you about it? What does your child communicate about it? (And I don’t mean only verbally. A child that is obviously unhappy or stressed out after a therapy is a Big Clue.)

Make sure YOU stay in control of what is done to your child. Their welfare is at stake. A therapy that doesn’t suit them, or that has goals you’re not comfortable with or that you can see aren’t helping your child, is one to exit as soon as possible.

I hope this helps.