1.) Muzak. This will be no surprise to some of my friends! But truly, going into a supermarket or shopping mall is enough of a sensory-intensive experience, without adding a layer of jangly music to the cacophony. It wouldn’t be so bad if they played decent music, but instead it’s endless re-runs of Abba and Rod Stewart (who I never thought was any good as a singer the first time round), the best they ever seem to manage is the occasional bit of John Denver. And don’t get me even started on Xmas muzak, or the muzak they blast your ears with when you ring some company and they put you on endless hold, only interrupting it now and again to tell you how much they value your custom… If they really valued it, they’d put more people on their phones, but that’s another story.
2.) Religious ‘hawkers’. I mean the people who come to your door and try and ‘sell’ their religion to you. First of all, it’s a sort of invasion of spiritual privacy. I don’t come to their door trying to push what I believe on them, and I object to them coming to my door and trying to push their beliefs on me. Secondly, spirituality is, I believe, a deeply personal, private relationship between you and God. Touting your beliefs door to door like a set of encyclopaedias or Rawleigh’s cleaning products cheapens this relationship, in my view. (Salespeople don’t come to your door selling encyclopaedias anymore do they? Am I showing my age?)
3.) Phone salespeople. Aargh! Why do these people always ring when you are trying to cook dinner! Or eat it. But that’s just part of the irritation. I truly object to being rung out of the blue by someone trying to sell me timeshares in Gold Coast resorts, or get me to contribute to some charity. If I wanted to buy such things (supposing I had the funds), or contribute to that charity, I’d be doing it already, thank you very much. Goodbye. Slam phone down. Grrrr!
4.) Housework. Whatever man dreamed up the idea that women should do all the housework was as cunning as a weasel. Seriously, there is something about possession of a womb that makes you more capable of cleaning a toilet? And they can send a man to the moon and invent the Internet, but can’t put together a decent robot to do the housework? If men had to do it, that robot would have been invented 300 or even 3000 years ago, trust me.
I’m sure there’s more. But that will do for now. Venting done.