My Blog Now Has Its Own Facebook Page!

For those of you who don’t follow me on Facebook, just letting you know that my blog now has its own Facebook page! I will post links to my latest blog posts on there, plus occasionally a link to the blogs of others that I especially like, and anything else which I find interesting, and hope that you will too!

The page can be found at https://www.facebook.com/strangeringodzone/

Enjoy!

Just a Word About Comments and Links...

I've had quite a few comments lately, that include links to the commenter's own website/page. I'd just like to point out that these are treated as 'spam' by blogspot, and tend to get lost! I often don't find them till much later, and with some of them, I'm not sure whether they are truly spam or not, so tend to delete... So basically, if you want to see your comment approved (I moderate all comments), please DON'T include any links!

Also, because of slow/cranky computer issues at home, it's sometimes a day or two (or three!) before I can get around to moderating comments. So please be patient, and don't think I am snubbing you. That's not the case at all. :)

A Crisis of Faith

I haven’t been doing much writing on this blog lately, for several reasons. I went to an autism conference, and then suffered a prolonged post-conference recovery, and just haven’t been at my best physically. Plus, my financial dire straits mean I’ve been feeling pressure to get on with other projects that might bring in some money. But I’ve also been having a bit of a ‘crisis of faith’. I felt like I was ‘preaching to the choir’, in that I seemed to have a very small audience who seemed to be already aware of the issues I raised, even if they couldn’t put it into words, and/or to pretty much agree with me. So I didn’t feel like I was actually ‘raising anyone’s consciousness’. But even more importantly, I’ve been getting more and more conscious of just how bad autism’s public image is, and how urgent it is to reach out to the general public and/or the media to get our viewpoint across, and change that image. So my blog seemed like a sort of distraction from that, a self-indulgent place where I raved on about my favourite hobby-horses, but not anything, I felt, that was really going to change the world for autistic people. As a result I didn’t feel much like writing any posts, and even wondered if I should let it go altogether.

But I’ve changed my mind on that, as a result of quite a few posts I’ve read recently in several autistic Facebook groups, which have left me feeling both saddened and alarmed. It seems there are still far more autistics out there who hate their autism than I realised, and who almost invariably hint that they hate themselves as well, for having it. Moreover, they don’t feel there is anything good about being autistic/aspie. Suffering from chronic depression, anxiety, or executive functioning issues, they are confused, overwhelmed, and miserable. Sometimes they’re not aware of the neurodiversity movement, or the concept of ‘autistic rights’, especially if they’re new to the scene, but even when they are aware, they frequently don’t see its relevance to them and their daily struggles.

But I most whole-heartedly believe it is extremely relevant – to all aspies/auties, no matter where they are, or what they’re doing, or what their ‘functioning level’ is. There’s so much that needs changing in autistic lives, and the first step in that change has to be changing our attitudes towards ourselves. We need to end the self-loathing and the impossible attempts to force ourselves into NT patterns which cause us so much misery. I do understand why we feel that way and do that to ourselves, but truly, it’s nonsense that we are not good enough as we are. It’s a set of mental shackles, and it’s time to break out of them and be free.

And the best way to do this, is with the support and companionship of other autistics – who can say “yes, I feel like that too, and no, you’re not crazy for thinking that”, who have had similar experiences, who can offer advice that actually works, who can accept us just as we are, in all our genuine, eccentric, autistic glory. We can value each other, support each other, break those mental shackles… but only if we first have the concept that we have worth as autistics.

Which is exactly how the ‘autism rights’ or ‘neurodiverse’ movement started – by a few autistics getting together, offering support to each other, and in the process realising, hey, you’re not so bad, we’re not so bad, we’re not the terrible, useless, mentally crippled beings that we’ve been told we are… So how come they treat us like that? And – how can we change things? And so it all began, with just a few, and has grown and grown from there. (That’s really how any social movement begins actually.) The concepts of ‘autistic pride’ or ‘autistic rights’ are really about accepting and valuing ourselves as autistics, and then striving to ensure others do the same. These concepts can be communicated from one autie to another, spread wholesale through communities, spoken of at conferences, written about in the media, discussed on social network sites, and developed in our daily lives. And thus, the principles of the neurodiversity movement can have an effect even on those not directly involved in it – much the same as the principles of other social movements, eg feminism, have spread to those who have never taken any part in them.

And yet, as I’ve said, there are so many who seem to be isolated from all this, alone, lost, hating themselves and their autism. So, in feeling the need to communicate with them, to show them that being autistic is not All Bad News, I’ve experienced a renewal of the impetus to write on my blog, because that seems the best way to reach out to ALL autistics, to tell them that they are not alone, that they are not worthless, that there are good things about being autistic, and that it is possible to change our lives for the better. I want them to know that even if they feel that no-one else values them, I value them, feel for them and their struggles, and want to do all I can to change things for them.

Of course I’m not thinking I can do this single-handedly – there are, happily, plenty of other fine autistic writers and advocates out there, all doing their bit, and more coming forward all the time. However I hope to do my bit, to add my rivulet to what is becoming a flood, to help swing the scales to positive with my few ounces, all in the hope that my words will have an impact, will make a difference. I certainly hope so.

Autism Positivity Flash Blog post

Tuesday, April 30^th, 2013, has been designated ‘Autism Positivity Flash Blog’ Day. I’ve been deliberating on what to write about for this. The good points about being autistic? Our strengths? Sure, there are plenty, but which to choose? But finally I realised the best thing about ‘Autism Positivity’ is that it can occur at all.

And the reason it’s able to occur, is the autistic community. We, who the ‘experts’ said were ‘anti-social’, could never form communities, create our own organisations, build bonds and ties with each other – or, indeed, with anyone - have done just that. Prior to the formation of this community,  we were – and in many cases still are - isolated, muted, marooned in a sea of hostility and rejection, imprisoned by the rampant negativity and ‘hate autism’ messages that even now still dominate the public ‘discussion’ about autism. Raised to hate this core part of our very identity and selves, to collude with the concept of autism as a ‘tragedy’ and ourselves as a ‘burden’, to believe that we are worthless, unable to contribute anything to the world, many believed they would be better off dead – something many NTs were only too inclined to agree with. At best, we were objects of pity and ‘charity’, beneficiaries of the ‘poor thing, they can’t help it’ attitude. Even if we had no diagnosis, especially if we were around before diagnosis was possible, we were nonetheless conditioned to hate our ‘weirdness’. To devalue ourselves, and our ways. To deny our strengths, and at least attempt to conceal our ‘weaknesses’ or our ‘strange’ behaviours. To put up the pretense of ‘normality’, and to hope, vainly, that some day we would truly attain it, if we only tried hard enough. Certainly nearly all of us have been given that message - that if we’d ‘only try harder’ we could fit in, could be ‘just like anyone else’. We believed it. We didn’t believe in ourselves. What, after all, was there to believe in? A deficient, sub-standard creature, the only one (or so we often believed) like it in the world? A ‘lemon’ on the human production line? The rest of the world, we reasoned, could not be wrong and we right.

And then we started to meet. We started to build connections, friendships, even sometimes relationships, with each other. We began to look at each other, and think, hey, this person’s autistic, yet I really like them, they aren’t awful, aren’t worthless, aren’t a pathetic weakling… maybe I’m not so bad either… And so the first precious stirrings of self-esteem emerged. We began to see just how badly we had been, and still were (and are, and are!), being treated. We began to reject such treatment, to form a new and more positive way of looking at ourselves and each other. We began to openly reject the negative images of autism, and to campaign for ‘autism rights’. We began to see that they are, in fact, simply human rights – voting ourselves back into the human race, back up from the subhuman state the ‘experts’ and society had condemned (and in many cases are still condemning) us to.

It happened like this for me, and for so many others. I floundered and stumbled my way through the world, hating myself, concealing my ‘weirdness’ as best as I could, trying vainly to be normal, to be accepted. Then I finally began to realise that I had AS, and on the heels of that, found the AS community online, and then face to face, ‘in real life’. And it was …amazing. For the first time, I made real friends, with people who really seemed to like me, to value me, to value my opinions and want to spend time with me. Only then did I realize just how badly my earlier attempts at forming friendships had gone, how the usual fare there was coolness, being ‘shut out’, being told I was ‘just too strange’, asked ‘what planet did I come from’, laughed at, or even outright rejected. It had been painfully obvious that very few wanted to know me – and I’d grown used to that, resigned myself to the ‘fact’ that I was ‘just lousy at making friends’, and eventually given up trying to do so. But in the autistic community, I found understanding, support, and simple acceptance of who and what I am. The transition from ‘weird nobody’ to ‘esteemed friend’ was a treasure beyond dreams. The first time I realised this, I cried.

Several years on, it is still the case that if I want positive reinforcement of my place in the world, if I want to feel like I have something worthwhile to contribute, if I simply want to feel that I’m a likeable, okay sort of person, then the autism community is the place I go. Nowhere else do I get such reinforcement, such validation, such emotional support. The rest of the world may not value me, but my autistic friends do.

And I value them. This validation and reinforcement, this acceptance and even embracing of each other as autistics, is the single biggest gift we can give to ourselves and to every other autistic person in the world. Yes, we have our problems, our splits and feuds and divisions, our trolls and our undesirables. We’re not going to magically love every other autistic person we meet. And yes, we have ‘issues’ that need sorting out amongst us. But don’t walk away if you encounter problems – because this is it folks – this is our community, there is nowhere else for us to go, nowhere that will accept us, embrace us and understand us. It’s the foundation of our self-esteem, the place where we can be ourselves amongst our peers, the place where we learn to accept ourselves and our autism, to recast our entire self-image, and potentially our entire lives. It’s also the base from which we can go out into the world and change it, change the whole ‘discussion’ on autism, and secure better treatment for all of us, whatever our ‘functioning’ level, whatever our formal diagnosis or lack of it. In other words, it’s the pathway to freedom.

Alone, we flounder and fall. Alone, we will go on suffering, each in our own private hells, with no hope of remission, unless and until the world finds some way to exterminate us. If we don’t have community, we die, literally or in our spirits. If we don’t have community, we will sink without a trace, becoming lost, wandering souls without a ‘home’. Too many of us are still lost, still ‘out there in the wilderness’, still immersed in hating their autism, and themselves. A lot, I suspect, don’t even know the community exists, and I truly feel for them. (Who says we don’t have empathy?!)

So embrace the autism community, and the Autism Positivity it engenders. It saves lives.

Should i adsense or not?

Well haven't been here much lately, in case you haven't noticed! Been busy with other stuff. But i've been thinking... is it worth my while sullying my nice clean blog with ads, or not. The Suite 101 article thing is turning out to be a bit of a wash-out, as regards earnings. So i'm thinking it might be better to put more work into my blog, and promote it, and if i have ads on it, then i can earn a little here too. I'm feeling that though i haven't exactly got the turnover yet, to warrant it, that maybe i would, if i posted more and promoted it more. Whaddya think, people? Comments would be appreciated on this issue, as i haven't made up my mind yet.